Baby steps

Starting a blog has been on my to do list for awhile. It is one of those things that would go on the “projects” list on my phone right after “create baby albums for kids”. And those have yet to be completed. My oldest child is 18! I have actually tried several times to start the blog and then I get caught up in logistics such as how to get started, what to call it and then what to rename it since the name I finally came up with was already taken about 15 tries. And then one of the kids finds me hiding out in the bathroom and it is all forgotten about for awhile. Finally, I asked my long time babysitter who has not only had a blog for years but has such a big following that she actually sells products that she endorses on it. Wow! If she can do it, so can I! Right? Only, my aspiration is maybe one day some people who I know start reading it and find a nugget or two. With three kiddos who all happen to be teenagers and a strong willed husband, I guess I am craving the feeling that something I have learned and want to share will actually be heard by someone in a way that resonates and helps them in their life, even if it is as simple as a new health product, work out class, sage piece of advice on how to keep your head screwed on while parenting a teen, or just whatever! One of the main ideas that keeps percolating in my brain is mind management. I discovered a pod cast called “The Life Coach” by Brooke Castillo and she talks about her model of starting with your circumstances (everything around you that you can’t control) and then you have your thoughts about your circumstances (over which you have total control) and your thoughts go on to create your emotions which directly affect your actions and these actions create your new circumstances. I have been struggling with some issues which have gone on for years and never seemed to change no matter how hard I tried to change it. I finally realized that I was trying to control some other people who I love but now I know I have NO control over their actions. All I have control over is my thoughts about them, my emotions and MY actions. Wow! That epiphany was powerful and life changing for me! I had to stop owning their actions and consequences. That is so hard to do when you really, really love somebody, especially a child or spouse. It opened me up to that quote/prayer we have all heard before:

God,grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; & wisdom to know the difference.

This quote resonated in a new way within me. I had always prided myself on following that advice and felt I had been pretty successful. Until my oldest became a teenager! I was all of a sudden trying to control the situation instead of letting him own his actions. This went on for years until I discovered Brooke Castillo. Now I am working every day to live by example and instead of trying to change him, my other kids, spouse or anyone else. I keep being the focus back to being the change I want to see. This includes all the procrastination that I get on him about. I procrastinate. But at least I honor deadlines. However, I do avoid signing up for things and putting myself out there if I think I will not be successful or may fail. So there’s that… But this blog is something I can do. And it doesn’t have to be perfect. I need to start owning my life instead of letting my frustrations with my loved one’s actions suck all my energy and creativity from my very core. Because that is totally on me! I have control over my thoughts, emotions and actions! It’s liberating! Well, that is my first rant. I am going to make it a goal to post more frequently and so I can write about a variety of topics. Some will be about books I am reading, podcasts I have discovered, a new product found at Whole Foods, etc… And if you are someone who happened to find me by accident or because I told you I had started a blog, please be patient and know that I will eventually find my voice and maybe be a little more focused with fewer rants and more useful info. Or not. We’ll see how it goes. If you found me by accident and nothing resonates at all or the posts irritate you in any way, you don’t need to be a hater! You have the power to never read these posts again! I always am amazed when I scroll down the comments on blog posts. The first few are usually positive and relevant and the farther down I scroll the less faith I have in humanity. Some comments get plain ugly and toxic! Over nothing! Usually the comments have become so far removed from the original post that I wonder if the hater even remembers what pissed them off in the first place. Anyway, that is probably another factor that has kept me away in the past. But I am putting all the doubts and naysaying from my brain to the side and, instead, sitting in New York at Joe & The Juice over a oat milk cappuccino typing my very first blog and I am pretty excited about it! It helps that nobody knows about it, yet. No pressure! I don’t even have to come up with a greater purpose for this blog until I see how it evolves. I just love the idea of sharing ideas with others. I have been told I am a verbal processor. I learn through conversation so hopefully one day this will be a two way conversation if I have any readers with (positive) contributions. I am especially interested in the subjects of mental and physical wellness , fitness, food as medicine, mind management, organization, habit creation, finding joy in small victories and the little things all around us that we often miss. I have been diving into the subject of the addiction spectrum and how we use alcohol and drugs, food, shopping, gambling, netflix, video games, etc… to self medicate. I have a son and husband who have ADHD so that is another area that is of great interest to me. Plus, I enjoy finding the beauty and joy all around me and the sharing of that joy with my family and friends. I plan on blogging about all this and more. Hope I set this site up correctly!